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Month: December 2008

The Obligatory 2008 Review Post

So, as 2008 is on it’s way out, and 2009 comes rushing in, promising shiny things and fresh beginnings (much like many politicians, they mush be in cahoots), it seems everybody is writing blog posts about how 2008 was and what they want out of 2009. We all know that if everybody jumped off a bridge, I might consider doing so as well, so here I am, writing my obligatory Farewell 2008, Hello 2009 post.

I won’t lie and say that 2008 was a great year, or that it was the best I’ve ever had, or that it was easy, because, well… it wasn’t. Not by any stretch of the imagination. On the same note though, it wasn’t all bad either, and certainly wasn’t the worst year of my life.

Even though it’s been almost 2 years since I moved to Portland (and even though I absolutely LOVE it here and will likely not be leaving), it’s still hard to be so far away from my family, and for my friends who know me the best. I have some great friends up here and I love them dearly and am very thankful for them, but they can’t replace the gap in my heart that was once filled by people who have known me for 6+ years, and some who have known me almost my entire life. I kind of live in a shell; my friends here don’t really *know* me because of it, and sometimes I feel alone, and like nobody will really understand how I am feeling, or why I do some of the things I do.

I also went through a relatively bad break up earlier in the year (I say relatively because I’ve heard of far worse breakups, but most of mine have been much less painful than this one) that was kind of like going through a divorce, the way we had to separate belongings. It took me a while to get over that.

I’ve moved, and started a new job, and lost friends, and made new friends, and had financial difficulties, and my car broke down, and there was a death in the family, and I’ve have had my ups and downs. Some days I feel more like I’m simply surviving and not really living. Much of my life is still under “trial by fire” status, and I don’t feel like I have any more direction in my life than I had last year…

But it’s okay.

I made it through 2008 a little battered and bruised, but not broken. At the end of the day, I do have good friends here, and a boyfriend that cares about me, even if we have our good days and bad days, and I know that if it ever came down to it, I could be in LA with my family if I need it. I may only be surviving at the moment, but I’m still in one piece. Even if I’m only wandering right now, I know eventually I’ll find my path, and things will straighten out..

2009 may not have all the shiny things I need, but I know I’ll pull through and be that much closed to whatever my ultimate goal is.


I Missed Portland!

So, I did get to fly back on Christmas morning (and sit in my first class seat!) which rocked. The airport was not as bad as I expected it to be, and my seat on the plane was amazing. They fed me breakfast and gave me champagne and the seat was cushy and there was a pilot sitting next to me who didn’t look at me like I was crazy when I asked him if driving the airplane while it is on the ground is like driving a really big car (the biggest difference, he says, is that you don’t start turning until you are physically past where you are going, because the front steering column is behind you, and that when he drives a car he makes obnoxiously wide turns now).

I got to spend Christmas Day with the adopted family for a bit, then with The House which made me happy I love my friends. I loved spending time with my family and chilling out for a couple days, but I am very happy to be back home.


Los Angeles, I Hate Thee!

So on Wednesday the 17th, I got on an airplane to Los Angeles for a trip to visit my family.

I got in late Wednesday and then went to sleep. Thursday I did stuff that I have already forgotten about, mostly. I did stuff during the day then went out to dinner with a friend and my mom and my brother at Gardens of Taxco (yum. mega yum!) After dinner I went to my friend Alex’s house and had way more booze than I needed to with him and the kid I went to homecoming with my freshman year of high school and one of their other friends, then we decided to play Rock Band at 3 in the morning. It was great fun until I had to wake up on Friday and was all hung over.

So Friday I did lunch with my old work peeps (but could not eat cause I was hung over) and hung out with them for a while, then took a nap, then went to dinner with Hilary and Sonia Thom and Amber, which was great fun.

Saturday I… did…. stuff? Oh yeah, my family was over for the Christmas shindig and almost all of the family showed up. It was awesome. I love my family :D Then I found a yarn store and made a pair of fingerless mittens.

So, here’s the great part. Sunday I got all packed up and ready to go home and got a notice that said my flight was canceled. I was less than thrilled, sigh. So I went to the airport to find out when I could go home (cause nobody was answering the phones) and they couldn’t get me on a flight for 4 days. So my trip got doubles.

I’ve been just chilling around town with some people and killing time cause I’m stranded in LA. Supposedly I am supposed to be able to go home tomorrow.. I have to be at LAX at 5 in the morning, which sucks. I hate LAX. Burbank airport is WAAAAAY better. But if my flight actually gets out, I get to fly first class :D For no extra charge (besides being trapped in LA for an extra 3 and a half days and losing wages cause I don’t have that much vacation time [no worries, my uncle has my back on the lost wages]) even! Yay first class.

So cross your fingers that my flight gets out tomorrow. I love my family but I’ve had enough of Los Angeles and I want to go home now.


It’s Snowing. This Is The Best Thing That’s Happened In Days…

I don’t even really like snow. I’ve just had a bad couple of days.

I had Friday off, which one would think would be a good day… not so much.

I started the day by having a dream that I was at my Grandma’s house and we were having the family Christmas party, and nobody showed up. My first thought upon waking up was “…well that sucks. My family is supposed to love me and want to see me damn it!” It only went downhill from there.

I went to Home Depot to pick up a light bulb for my light fixture (I have the Fuga light from IKEA) and the stupid things are $7 each. I bought two so I could replace the dead one and have a spare for next time one dies. After that I went back home to play with Xoie but she wasn’t interested in me and only wanted to chew on her bone. Whatever dog.

I worked a little bit on a project I’m doing, then decided that I needed some shots of Downtown.. so I took a shower, put my dog in her room, and walked to the MAX stop. It started raining 2 minutes after I left my house and was pouring by the time I got off the train in Portland. So I couldn’t pull my camera out.. walked down to Eat Pizza and had some food and killed some time because Pod wasn’t gonna be off work for a little bit. Hopped on the MAX and headed over there, then couldn’t remember what floor he worked on.

Tried calling but he didn’t answer so I started wandering around the building. It’s fairly small and has lots of locked doors, so I didn’t get lost per say… but I did manage to find the only door to the stairwell that opens on my first try, only to find that the doors from that side are locked. I started panicking and each door I tried that was locked made the stairwell feel smaller. It really, really sucked. Sent a text to Pod telling him I was gonna die in the staircase then finally located an unlocked exit. It was scary :(

So then when it was time for us to leave, we got on the MAX, and then there was an announcement saying they were going to delay the train… and then security walked up to me and asked me to get off the train. My eyes got all big and round and Pod was like “uhhhmmm…” and the security guy was like, “are you with her?” “yeah” “okay why don’t you step off too…” and so we got rained on while they figured out that I was not whoever they were looking for, and they let us back on the train, and everybody was staring at us.

So then I was all cold and wet and cranky and my hot chocolate didn’t come with whipped cream. Bleah.

I guess yesterday was sort of mostly okay except I had to work and I got in a fight with Pod and then I had to work today.

But hey, it’s snowing. I threw a snowball at my friend Sam and haven’t fallen on my ass yet so I guess it’s okay.