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I Said Everything

I would argue that the perfect banana split has so many toppings that you don’t get any ice cream in the first bite. The problem I have with banana splits is, OMG who the hell needs 3 scoops of ice cream, a banana, and a mountain of toppings?! That’s just way too much sugar for one person. Enter Jeff, who was always there to share my banana split with me to keep me from killing myself of diabetic shock. Jeff either agrees with me on the topping thing or didn’t feel like arguing.

Turns out most people don’t agree with my topping theory.

So we turned it into a social experiment. We called it The How People at Baskin Robbins React When Told “I want a banana split with everything on it” Project.

Turns out that 34/35 will proceed to list off the 4billion toppings and wait for us to nod at of them.

25 of those 34 will ask at the end “Everything then? Why didn’t you just say so?”, which results in a *facepalm* from me and Jeff.

15 of the same 34 will raise an eyebrow when handing over the concoction

The 1/35 that doesn’t ask will then proceed to only put chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry on the banana split.

All 35 times, we ended the conversation with “Banana Split with everything, thx”.

On a similar note, I was just at a Baskin Robbins the other day and asked for a single scoop sundae with half a banana and “everything on it”… and dude was part of the 34 of 35 that lists off all 4billion toppings and waits for me to nod at of them. However, he was not one of the 25 that asks why I didn’t say so in the first place. He did raise an eyebrow though. Alas, I didn’t have my Jeffreybean there to share it with though, which is why I downsized from banana split to single scoop sundae. It was still way too much sugar.

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And Then We Got Kicked Out

Hope randomly showed up on my doorstep one day while I was busy feeling sorry for myself. I don’t know what made her fly out to see me; I guess she must have been bored. I also don’t know how she knew where I lived; but then again, I’m no longer surprised when Hope finds me. She takes amateur stalking to a whole new level. This was surprisingly less creepy than the time her and some of her friends drove to Los Angeles from somewhere in New Mexico and picked me up at the bus stop I was waiting at. But that’s a whole other story.

It was a Friday night and I was home by myself shortly after I moved to Portland, and there was a knock on the door. I kind of crept out and peeped through the little hole in the door and was floored to see Hope standing there. She let herself in, proclaiming that she had forgotten I had moved, and finding me was kind of hard cause she had been looking in Burbank for the first half hour of her “research”. She looked at me impatiently and asked me why I wasn’t dressed for going out yet. Somehow the whole situation struck her as “normal”. So I did what any rational person would do: I got dressed for going out and out we went!

I hadn’t really been in Portland long enough to figure out where the “happening” places to go were yet, but that didn’t matter. Hope did her homework and knew where we were going anyway. I wish I remembered where we went; it was pretty fun. We hit a couple spots before picking one to stay at for more than twenty minutes. Cruising around town was fun. I had been kind of homesick and missed the city lights, and this outing took care of that.

When we finally picked a bar to stay out, we found a cozy little booth to sit in and had some drinks and chatted about life and things. People (mostly boys) would wander up to our table and Hope would shoo them away; we were both taken, and besides, she was here to see ME. We were having a grand old time until somebody came along who didn’t get the meaning of the words “go away”. I had forgotten how much of a temper Hope has; she’s pretty quiet about it, but there’s no mistaking when she’s angry. Unless, of course, you’re Captain Oblivious, as this guy apparently was.

So she dumped her drink over his head.

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Names Changed* Now Open

Names Changed* is now open! The layout is still kind of in testing, as I implemented some features I hadn’t made use of before. If something doesn’t appear to be working, or seems odd, please take a moment to leave a comment here and let me know, as chances are I haven’t noticed if it hasn’t been fixed yet. Thanks!